mom can i borrow $100,000 please i’ll give u it back when im rich and famous
i asked my mom how she met my dad and she said at a college basketball game this guy got distracted and got hit by the ball and got a huge bloody nose and he came up to her after the game and said “i was distracted by you” with like blood all over his face and jersey
so i asked my dad and he said “my friend told me he’d give me 10 bucks if i asked a girl out with my broken nose and she said yes”
Anonymous said: how do you write beautiful in chinese?
"thats not very lady-like of you"
if you do giveaways you deserve a pat on the back cause i cant even give up a cheeto without hesitation or regret